11/5/2007-----My Message to everyone who loves & cares about me

This mail was sent to everyone who loves & cares about me on 11May 2007, Friday morning.

Hello everyone,

I am back after passing through the sad incident.

For those who has not been updated recently, my male fetus was diagnosed both kidneys damaged during the 17 weeks pregnancy routine checking and my pregnancy has been terminated on the following week.

It was extremely shock to us as the past routine checkings showing that he was growing well. Despite the kidneys, my baby was found normal in his growing including head, 4 limbs, length, weight and other organs.

The culprit is at his penis. His lower urinary tract was found blocked in the valve causing the urine in the bladder cannot passing out. Both kidneys was damaged and malfunction.

Within the days, my husband and I searched a lot of information from the net and consulted 3 specialists including the famous Professor Anandar (Fetal Maternal) at Singapore (Orchard) to look for any remedy. Finally we have no choice but to listen to the professional advice to terminate.

I was induced to deliver the baby then followed by D & C and warded for 4days at hospital. I am getting well after 10 days rest @ the confinement centre.

The chances of getting this malforming is 1 in every 500 pregnancies and no reason at all. Some found in the early stage and it will miscarriage by itself. Those found in the later stage of pregnancy may deliver the baby but need long term outcome with kidney transplant or dialysis for life.

The doctors confirmed that my husband & I are both absolutely healthy and normal without any potential to have problem in pregnancy. They also denied my worries of high age.

Thank you again for everyone here who cares about me. My family & I deeply appreciate your visits, sms, e-mails and gifts during the time.

Regards,

EC

4/2007 this was the right decision

Dear Ewe Chin,

I am so sorry for your abortion but I think this was
the right decision. Do take care of yourself and have
proper rest.

My baby boy is down with a cold recently and he is
having cough and running nose. I am not sure if I can
bring him along to Taipei when we meet. I will contact
you while you are here.

Looking forward to seeing you.



Siew Wei 韶薇
Taiwan
儿科专科医生

24/4/2007 Taiwan Trip 少了一个你

一早已安排好的台湾行程，今天，我们照常出发了。




















圣德，本来，我还要带着肚中的你，一起到台湾的。我更已经取得航空公司的同意了。
朋友知道后，取笑说：
“哦！你的儿子不必国际旅游护照咿！”
“哗！你的孩子还未出生，就可以坐飞机出国了！”

可是，一场临时的巨变，我们这一行，少了一个你.....
伤心的家庭，伤心的行程......

18/4/2007———— 补不了的身心创伤/ RM300 大红包

从医院产科楼办理出院手续，我马上住进了坐月中心，听从大家的劝解，进补养身。

面无血色的妈妈，还有顿失欢颜的枚姐姐，以及伤心的爸爸........这是一个悲伤的家.....

在坐月中心，四周都是开心的妈妈在努力学习着如何看顾初生婴儿。
而我，触景伤情，只能强装坚强地指导及协助这些新手妈妈们。

每日丰富五餐另加补品补酒，却怎么也补不回我内心的创痛。



























珍贵的药材，也补偿不了我失去儿子的悲痛。

白天，我都是无聊地吃喝着那几乎没有停止的补品，关上双眼，却是闭目而无法入眠，内心依旧辛酸。

每一天晚餐过后，我总是急不及待地等候爸爸孟来载我回家。
每个关心我的人，都叫我夜晚留住在坐月中心，避免雨露。可是，我的心就是坚持一定要每晚回家，或许是我知道，我的儿子圣德的灵魂，是留在家中吧！
只要回到那个属於我们的家，我的心似乎安稳了不少。

圣德，我知道，你一定也很不舍得，不然，你不会留守在家中，而我也不会每天辛苦地回家，来与你相聚最后的母子缘份。

圣枚给了我无比的力量，这位小姐姐的拥抱，她的懂事，让我的世界不致於黑暗，坚强地一步一步艰难走下去。

是的，医生、亲友周围的劝解是对的，失去的已无法挽回，在生的，要好好自重珍惜啊！





小叔夫妇也趁着周末，返槟探望我。临回吉隆坡之前，小婶J 另外加送一封ＲＭ３００的红包给我。
奇怪，他俩前两天已经送上近一百五十令吉的余仁生珍贵补品（金牌白凤丸两盒及鸡精半打）了呀！
况且两年前我失去前一男胎时，他们都没有任何表示，这回却怎么给了我这么厚礼。


我一再推辞，小婶J 坚持要我收下，后来，她再ＳＭＳ一定要我接受她的这一份心意。浓情厚意，教我感动不已。
过后，小叔小婶也接连三星期都从吉隆坡赶回槟城探望我，陪在我身边，他们从没这般频密回槟的。



P/S：
后来才知道是家婆要小婶J 给我这个红包的，这是传统习俗“向人接仔”（又称借胎法）的做法。

所以，当圣田於隔年在吉隆坡出生以后，我不只送了一瓶两百多块钱的洋酒供小婶J 补身，更特意买了一条价值近RM400 的脚链给圣田，以还回小婶J 的那封“向我接孩子过去”的RM300红包，因为，我并不是“卖孩子” 给她！！

14/4/2007————送不到的两份生命礼物

妇产科护士送来止痛药、防发炎药以及退乳药。
我含泪吞服下去.....

圣德，我可怜的孩子，我本以为，我将像当年喂哺你姐姐圣枚一样，喂你人乳，把母爱的第一份礼物送给你，提高你的免疫力，让你有健康的身驱，迎向未来人生的挑战。

医学开始盛行为孩子储存脐带血，不但可以作为一个永恒的纪念，更是一项救命的生命保险。
我早前更比较了市面上的四家“脐带血库”收集中心的促销配套，打算为你储存相连我们母子的脐带血，那也是我想送你的生命之礼物。

可是，这一切计划，都无法落实了。
而我打算送你的这两份生命礼物，都将永远成为我心中对你的亏欠....